Wow, it sounds like you all have a lot on your plates right now.

Gentleness is a good thing. Even when frustrated at the situation, if she is overly emotional, anything but gentleness would only enflame her emotions. I wouldn't be surprised if even gentleness would enflame them right now. It's a hard call for sure.

If she is having issues in her marriage and taking it out on you and your gf's happiness, that really isn't very fair. Maybe you can turn a deaf ear to some of her comments, knowing that her hormones are raging right now with the pregnancy and all. If seeing you and your gf be very affectionate in front of her is bothering her, maybe you both can agree to back off of that in front of her for awhile. Not that I think being affectionate is bad....but sometimes we just have to back off a bit to calm the situation.

I"m also wondering if there are some responsibilities that you can help her with to help take some of the load off her shoulders?? Maybe she is feeling very overwhelmed and could use a bit of a break. You may already be doing that for her, I don't know, just a thought.

When all else fails, a big gentle hug when she is raging and you are feeling stressed with her might do wonders. For when we are upset, to have someone we love let go of the anger and show love instead is just what we need to get over ourselves

I wish you all well

Hugssss
J