i wish i had more people to text and hang out with with yea but im not fretting it as much anymore. im trying my hardest to keep my ownself busy. but i realized its even harder to do that when i have no one to goto concerts with or events just for even like safety like to have someone as a side person for safety. i asked my mom to goto comic con with me and she said "i dont know about that". i really thought i could keep busy by going places by myself but i realized im not that safe going all these places alone.

id like to think im so independent and stuff but im not as independent as i thought i am. and reading the news about women and othe people getting shot and raped and stabbed more and more nowadays by police and all kinds of people makes things seem even more bleak than before.

support group really isnt going that well. i find it boring. the only "friend" i made was that girl i keep talking to you all about who has spina bifida. and i would hang our with her but she makes really unreasonable demands on me. like to hang out with her for 5-6 hours at a time. and then drive home at night. spend like and hour and a half driving to and from her home. yet she complains no one will hang out with her and she has no friends. she does tho she claims yet none to hang out with she says.

i hung out with her once and i am not trying to be mean but i didnt enjoy having to fit a wheelchair in my mustang trunk which is very tiny to begin with. and then she expected me to push her through the WHOLE first story of a mall and the WHOLE second story.