</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
alexandra_k said:
but... uh... doesn't anybody else have this kind of issue coming up for them in therapy?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Alex, is the issue you mean erotic transference? This thread is so rich with ideas, I'm not sure which issue you mean. I'm curious about what you mean when you wrote:

"i don't trust him. i don't trust that he will be strong enough to resist my emotions if they get projected onto him "

What do you mean, "resist"? What would his resistance look like? What would his giving in look like? Do you think he should resist or give in? I don't understand the scenario--can you explain?

Sometimes when my T feels something strongly in session, he really struggles to contain the countertransference (of the non-erotic variety) and he will acknowledge it outloud, and I think that helps him. It's like it disarms the power of the countertransference to speak its name. For example, he will say something like, "I'm struggling right now to keep this about you and not react based on similar episodes in my own past, even though I feel very strongly about what you have just said. This is about you and how you will deal with this, not about how I might feel or what I might do. What are you feeling right now?" Or something like that. It redirects the therapy to me, but also helps me feel not so alone, because he has acknowledged I am affecting him. It makes me feel really close, strengthens our bond. He holds himself back to let it be about me, but gives me the gift of knowing that I have affected him.

So I wouldn't say my T was "giving in" when he experiences countertransference. But he resists in a gentle and human way, acknowledging the countertransference instead of sweeping it under the rug. His acknowledgement reminds me that this is my therapy, and he is here with me, but it is not about him, no matter how much he empathises.