I'm not thinking about killing myself but nowadays I wish I'd be dead. I feel like everything in my life is antagonizing. I brought home an injured kitten 1 month ago, he went through tail amputation surgery and still not healing properly, poor thing. I know I'm trying my best. On the other hand my resident cat is very hostile, spitting and hissing and will probably attack him whenever he has the chance (they've been seeing each other through a glass door) Anyway, I feel really hopeless trying to modify their behavior with the tactics I've learned because, well, I don't see much improvement there. Everyone is like "OK, you gotta let them together, there'll be a few fights but eventually everything will be OK" And this kind of relaxed attitude makes me crazy because how could know that it's gonna be alright. It may not, and the big one could injure the small one, even kill it. How am I supposed to be relaxed about it when trying this hard? On some days, I feel like I'm gonna succeed and if not, I'll find a solution. But on some other days, like this one, I feel lost. And my therapist... He confessed he had feelings for me 2 weeks ago and since then I'm also feeling super lost. (I'm not seeing him anymore btw) My trust is shattered. Giving up Cipralex 2 months ago is not helping either. Feels like there's a lump in my throat that doesn't let me breathe. That's all for now.