> Alex, is the issue you mean erotic transference?

I'm not sure

> What do you mean, "resist"? What would his resistance look like?

Uh. It is hard to explain. I guess...
When I was little I felt like my mother could induce feelings in me. She could make me feel a certain way. I felt like... She could control me with her emotions. That when they were in me then I was forced to act a certain way. So... If she induced anger in me then I would do bad stuff. So... I had to not feel anything.

I worry that I'm just like her in the sense that if I feel something then I'll induce that feeling in others and then they will act on them. That their actions will be my fault cause my feelings were controlling them. Anger, erotic desires, despair, whatever. Any intensely felt emotion. Especially t 'cause he is sitting there trying to pick up on the faintest of signs from me as to what I'm feeling. He is so receptive to my feelings so I have to take extra special care to not feel intense emotion. Or... He might wake up shaking his head going 'what on earth have I just done!!!' and then he will need to terminate me. Make sense?

That is good how your t is up-front about his counter-transference. Really good. It is nice to know that one affects them (sucks to feel ineffectual, huh). But it is also nice that he is able to appreciate that he is experiencing counter-transference such that he is able to step back from what he is experiencing and refocus on what is going on for you. Nice that he isn't forced to act them out. Kind of making a mental note for him to think about what the counter-transference response means both with respect to you and with respect to him later. Can take time for t to sort that out just like how it can take time for us to sort out our transference responses from our responses to the therapist as an individual in the present. Your t sounds really great with that.

I think my t will be too but I guess I don't know... He seems to be encouraging me to feel anger. He doesn't seem afraid of anger. I have expressed a little rage (briefly) and I didn't see him cringe or anything. Need to be careful with erotic feelings, though, cause they can be the sticking point for many a therapist. Result in untimely termination etc etc etc. Little gentle disclosures and assessments...