This is just not okay. Your mania is turning on you. It is going to get worse and worse from here. I have a good idea of this agitation you are talking about.

If I were you I would want somebody to say this to me....

You may not feel like you "need" IP now. BUT your KIDS need you to. When there are children involved we have to act sooner. Better safe than sorry. You can never be too safe with your kids.

You said before that your mania was making you a better more engaged mom. Now the tide is turning and you are so agitated that is is hard to just exist let alone parent. I know.

Please go to the hospital now. I don't care if you hate me later. This has gotten to the point where I am thinking about you and you babies all of the time and I am praying.

You are one of us strong Bipolar warrior moms! You have held on with amazing strength. Use that strength now to get yourself safe. Go to the hospital. Don't make this episode a part of your children's childhood anymore.

I told you about my friend and how I said stuff like this and she sad nothing even while in her line of work she was seeing families, individuals, and childhoods being destroyed by Bipolar.

Bad and scary stuff can happen in this illness. We have to be on our guard.

I have never been IP so I don't truly understand what it is I am begging you to do but I do hope that if and when someday I come on this forum feeling and saying what you are going through that you will dig up this old post and make me take my own advice.

Sweet friend. What are you waiting for? What will have to happen for you to think you have to go get help now? Do you really want to wait until there is a crisis? A crisis that might be traumatizing to you and your babies?

But I seriously do want to know what will have to happen for you to feel like you need to get help now?