It's very disconcerning when someone you think is a friend just changes like night and day. I don't understand. I've had this happen before, so it's not new- but every time it is very upsetting. For instance, I had a coworker friend that all of a sudden has a look of disdain towards me and avoids me at all costs. Like what the ****? Can you please communicate and let me know what's up? People can be so immature. I'm beyond this high school ****- but it seems most adults aren't. I'm going to continue to be the same me- nice and friendly and helpful and empathetic and try to continue to have resilience in the face of adversity- I really don't understand some people sometimes . . .

I try not to let it get me down- it makes me wish I could up and leave my job even more- even though there are some nice people there that make it fun to work there- but I have too many interests that I never seem to have the time for- I need to continue to go out to poetry readings/slams and collect my poems to maybe publish them- I still need to learn to play guitar and take ballet lessons, learn to play the clarinet and the piano, refine my drawing skills and practice painting/take a painting class. I need to refresh my Mandarin language skills and learn Spanish, French and Italian. I need to join a volleyball or softball team again, or a soccer team, I need to reach my goal weight and continue to practice a bit of yoga or at least stretch every day as well as do push ups and situps on a daily basis( something I've gotten back into recently). I need to finish reading the five books I've started. . . The list goes on. . . I need to continue to have faith in people and put myself out there to try and make friends- I need to continue to try and look for a new job even though I'm very much apathetic about finding a good one and getting a call back-
It's hard to stay positive when so many people make me feel so small . . .
Like people in my neighborhood where I used to work- it sucks because they like to pretend not to see me- I guess it's awkward for them too. Sorry I left the store, nothing against anyone (well except a few and my ex still roams the area and was starting to frequent the place again- long story) Sorry I still live in YOUR neighborhood and don't live up to your standards. I've grown good at pretending not to see people on the streets, I learned vicariously. . . .. A lot has been on my mind lately, sorry for rambling.