So, I'm getting really fat off of seroquel. I've gained ten pounds in the four months I've been on it. I haven't been pigging out on junk food and sweets. I'm ****ing physically active. I'm so ****ing pissed off about this. I only took 50mg of it last night because I am GETTING OFF OF IT. And I've felt weird all day. Angry. Then depressed. Then a nice bawl in the bedroom (yeah, boo hoo) because I told my husband I was getting of it and he asked if he should book me a room (as in, book me a room in the hospital).

He didn't say it in a mean way. Just an exasperated/worried about me way.

I can't concentrate or focus. I want to start pacing.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, last one with the current one I'm seeing since she's leaving, and I'm going to talk to her about the weight thing, but I don't know what the hell she can do about it because SHE'S LEAVING, and who knows when I'm going to be able to get in to see whatever asswipe she's referring me to.

I had my last episode when my last doctor retired, and now I'm worried I'm going to have another situation while I'm in between doctors again and there's no one to call. I mean, she can't take me off seroquel and put me on something different when she's leaving!!! And I need an alternative.

I'm so frustrated. And freaked out. And anxious about this doctor situation. And I'm really feeling it now since I'm weaning off the seroquel (which has been working really well for me... other than the fat thing).

When my husband gets home I'm taking a drive.

I'm so agitated. I want to smash something.