Hi there,

Everything you're feeling is totally normal. It's normal to be scared about big changes in your life, and getting sober is pretty huge. I can tell you though that it's worth it. I was drunk all my adult life, and I've been sober, most of the time for the past 7 years. I've had a few relapses. And it's the best decision I made.

I didn't like myself very much when I was drinking, and now I do. It's taken years of therapy to get to that point, but it is possible.

I hear you on the wait lists - they suck. But a lot of rehabs have "getting ready" programs, that meet one or 2 evenings a week, to support you and help you get ready for rehab once you do get in. If you can and the rehab you're going to offers it, I'd suggest attending. It can really help.

If you can't get that support through your rehab, I'd strongly suggest going to AA between detox and rehab. Even if you decide that AA isn't unltimately for you, it can be a good support and a safe place to park yourself so you don't drink, and a place to meet other sober people. And the best part is it's free and there are meetings virtually everywhere.

You didn't say where you are in Canada. But not all rehabs require you to come off benzos for treatment. If you're in a small town you may have limited options, but I can think of a couple of rehabs in Toronto that let you stay on benzos if they've been prescribed by a psychiatrist.

Good luck.

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