This might be a personal question, but just so I know exactly what's going on....you don't have an orgasm at all? Not even during oral or with his hand? For most of my sexually active life, I couldn't orgasm during sex. It had to be done before during foreplay, with his hand or orally, and then I'd fake it during sex.

Are you able to have an orgasm during masturbation? Its usually easier for women to orgasm "clitorally" by masturbation or manual/oral stimulation. Its not uncommon at all to not acheive during intercourse.

If you're not able to AT ALL, I'd practice.....until we know what works, we don't know what to tell our man. If they're not hitting the right spot, I'll gently move their hand, or say "to the left" lol. But I know what works for my body to tell my man.

Orgasm during sex was a different story. I lost my virginity at 21 and didn't orgasm during sex until I was 27. I had finally decided to stop faking it because I'm trying to live a completely honest life. So I had told my bf at the time that I'd never had one and wouldn't be faking it. Low and behold, I finally had one. Then with my current bf, I had a lot of work to do on my past sex issues, because I was falling in love with him, and didn't want all those hang ups from my past interfering with my sex life with him. For me, I had always had sex because I thought I had to, not because I wanted to. I felt like it was my "duty" as a woman, that I was a vessel. I didn't want to feel that way with my bf, so I worked through all of it, and now, the sex with him is amazing!! In fact I can't get enough!!!!!

Sex is mental as well as physical....I never realized that until I was ok with it mentally. Once I combined the physical act with the mental stability, it made sex so much better.

How long have you been with your bf? Have you guys tried some things to "spice it up"? There are some good articles on women and sex on ivillage.com that I've found helpful in the past.

I'd really suggest getting to a point where you can achieve one on your own....that way you know how to tell him what to do. Men have always said they find a little direction helpful.

One of the best things I ever did for myself though, was find other women who had similar experiences. It helped me not feel alone, and we gave each other ideas. So I'm glad you found us here at PC, welcome!!!

Check out the Women Focused Support room too. We discuss sex issues there as well, amongst the other women.

Good luck, and keep posting, and its wonderful to meet you!!



~Rayna