Regarding you having sex, I'd suggest that you look less at yourself and how it affects you, but instead focus more on her, since she is the one clearly struggling and marriage is about both your needs. She admitted something big to you, and I think it's important that you work with her on this. As for youself, not having sex is likely not the reason for being suicidal, but instead the reason probably lies within insecurities this issue has brought on or exasperated. (also, if you're not seeing Professor Hans Jerkov nor getting any other release, then you will have pent up frustrating of sorts, so you need to sort that yourself) Perhaps you should both seek profession help.

"I bust my *** for my family. I work 60 hour weeks and pay the bills by myself. I am faithful and committed." - why did you preface the problem with this? To me, this suggests that you feel because you provide for the family, your wife is then obligated to disregard her struggles and have sex with you; it is my very strong opinion that it doesn't, and should never, work like that. I sincerely never want a relationship in which a woman feels like she is obligated to have sex with me. :| Neither party should feel obligated to do anything like that, IMO.

Exactly. Been there myself. But I see nothing here that shows the OP's wife is using it against him.