Thanks so much for these replies. s4ndm4n2006: I do need to work more on my assertiveness, it causes a lot of problems elsewhere in my life too (e.g. work and romantic relationships). Rose76: thanks very much for your supportive comments. I really appreciate it. I think the really valuable replies to this thread and others are helping to me form a clearer view of my parents behaviour. Whatever you grow up with as a child becomes your definition of normality. It takes a lot of time to come to terms with the idea that whilst this might be normal, to you, it is not healthy.