In my opinion, he needs to step up.

But I want to be very clear, you're not doing anything wrong and this situation isn't about being right or wrong.

He's always been distant, but as you said, it's gotten worse lately. Since he's always been that way, it's not going to be easy for him and he's not going to be able to change overnight.

Personally I think you both need to go to couple's counseling, but not to fix either of you. You need to be able to get on each other's page. We don't change a behavior if there's no benefit so if you both get on the same page, he can see how helping out with dishes or being more assertive in the bedroom will benefit him.

But again, it will take time since you guys didn't start out exactly huggy, snuggly, lovey anyway. Oh, and I wouldn't start dictating anything. At least for me that would make things worse.