Hey I'm sorry, it never said there was a new post here. I'm so sorry you had a breakdown. Did you get any treatment at all for that? How are you doing now?

I like someone now and she likes me too but she literally couldn't live further away from me. She wants to like flirt and stuff when we talk and its nice but I'm just wary of letting my heart get anymore involved cos I know what will happen, I'll get all my hopes up and then she'll meet someone else and I'll be left heartbroken. I'm not blaming her, I mean anyone would be better than me plus we're realistically never going to meet, so what's the point? But I feel bad to say we shouldn't talk like that but its just going to end badly if we do, I know that.

Then that vote thing is tomorrow and I'm so nervous. I'm still heartbroken about my mam voting no. I thought of just telling her tonight, but our cat was taken into the vet overnight so I dont want to upset her further. Even though I'm upset. Id rather just die than tell her cos she will hate me. I dont even care anymore, we used to be so close but now I know I cant rely on her, I'm on my own in this world. I want to move out but Id need money to do that, and I actually owe her a load of money so theres no chance. Plus all the vets fees. I'm just so tired and stressed and worried and this is probably the wrong place to write all this but there are so many forums here I don't know where to post, and at least I kind of know you. Im wary of talking because i've been told not to talk about my problems and im wary about forums cos of an incident on another site, and the person involved is still there.

Plus my best friend hates me and I'm convinced she's lying to me, about everything. And my ex just got married. I'm trying so hard to stay alive, even that possible escape has been taken from me cos I was told how selfish I'd be, and I don't want to be remembered that way. But maybe if people noticed what was right in front of them. I don't know. I don't want this, I don't want to be here.And I'm so selfish writing this when you have enough problems. My name is a joke now because I'm not brave, at all.