I went into a state of mind like my mind does with suicide.

I told the psychiatrist two years ago that my OCD can be managed. I was under a lot of stress like huge stress. My mom told him the symptoms of it such as washing my hands etc.. I still do these things but I can walk away. It just feels uncomfortable if I think about it too much.

I didn't believe that I had it so I stopped all of my meds, used risperidone as a knock out pill for when I couldn't cope, saved 100 or something pills of Concerta over 100 risperidone and 800 pills of Prozac. I went down to 68kg from 74kg in just a few months.

It was bad. Really bad.

I was thinking about this with schizophrenia that I don't have it. They're changing the injection to 3 weeks instead of 4 so I'll see how that goes.

Abilify is making me stiff when i walk so I'll take the Cogentin..

I had a weird thought that I needed to bring my Vyvanse to the ocean and set it free into the water.