It's 3:30 AM. I take a dose of valium when I start to feel calm and another when I start to feel sleepy. I haven't had the first dose yet. That's not good........I've been down for 2 days and now I'm way, way up again. I want to get up and do things. I have no idea what but I don't want to be calm and quiet. I hate this.....And it's scary because there is nothing easy to do if I am more manic; I can't tolerate more Seroquel and I'm going to start Latuda but can't until my dr. has samples, which she isn't allowed to just have, she has to get them only for specific patients with specific needs.

I'm noticing every time I leave home I get manic. This is not a good thing. I can't live my entire life without leaving home......It's just this episode, it's just been going on forever it seems but leaving triggers it. I have no idea what to do about that. Hopefully my therapist has an idea Monday.