What I do is throw my own party like thing like get a cake for myself.
It is wonderful you had people send you things, be with you and that your aunt and uncle grill for you. I see that you appreciate that.
Is your dad type to say it is his birthday coming up and giving hints? I notice people who do that get what they want.
It really help me to get my own cake. I have seen people throw their own parties.
I know you want to be loved and shown by others by surprise but sometimes, it just better to show others your milestone. Like "hey! It's my 30th and this is important to me."

Although it is over, you can still throw yourself the 30th party.

Better to find a way to enjoy your 30th than focus on your dad. Let his day be his day and you find a way to make your 30th better.