I haven't made any such commitment. I suppose a part of me hopes for some conflict that will give my brain the "green light".

BUT - At my deepest core - I am an optimist. I have to believe there is a purpose to this hell we are going through. That God has a purpose and he will use it to make me or someone else "better". And yes, I know that I will never know for sure what that purpose is (at least not in this lifetime).