Dear Walking Man,
I am truly sorry that you are having such a tough time. I cannot even imagine what it is like to suffer chronic pain. I do know what it is like to endure the post treatment care withdrawal following a prolonged illness. After completing two years of cancer treatment and becoming physically whole again, I had a tough time (still am, years later) resuming life in the mist of psychological and financial aftermath. I can relate to struggling to cope, all alone, in the mist of overwhelmingly trying circumstances.

No easy answers, it's an humbling and tough journey. I do encourage you to seek a qualified, honest, non judging, nurturing someone to whom you can confide. Your task list is quite daunting especially whem you attempt to tackle all at once. Perhaps talking things over with someone can help you find a new perspective, connect you with social services resources, or at best provide an outlet to relieve some of the mental exhaustion from keeping this burden to yourself.

I can attest that it is a struggle to get back on track when a crisis (especially a series of misfortune) derails aspirations for a healthy and fulfilling existence. What I am slowly discovering is that in our surviving the hardships, we are much stronger than we think. The tricky part is flipping that mental switch. I am gradually (agonizingly) progressing towards this outcome with the help of a therapist and revamping my coping skills toolbox . It is also important to not isolate but keep reaching out for healthy, positive, and edifying connections with others.

Stay determined, be encouraged, and know that "you are not alone at being alone." Find esteem in even the smallest accomplisments (I used to celebrate being able to sit in a chair for 30 min when treatment had me bedridden)

After the darkness, the daylight seems so much brighter.