Seems like an honest conversation to me, which is a great thing.
It also seems like you both want different things, which completely sucks.
I think you aren't being manipulative, just very sensitive.
If it was me, and if it was possible, I would back off. I would try to bring it back to a very superficial level, with no talking about triggering topics, and see if it's possible.
Then, slowly bring the topics back, and if either of you feels hurt, tell the other immediately.
Right now, you need to put some limits out there. That's okay. If you don't use temporary limits, you won't be able to heal, and your friendship will be doomed.