Wow, it must have been really hard to hear that encouragement of extra support from your therapist and then have the rug pulled out under you from the office staff. It's so hard to separate the business aspect of it all when we have such raw pain and need.

I don't know if you're anything like me, but I tend to isolate and hide when I am most hurt and most in need of connection with my therapist, so I am probably not a great person to give advice. I just want to tell you how much I relate to your desire to cancel. I've done it a hundred times when I have been in most need of his help. However, if I can adapt a "do as I say and not as I do" stance, I think you should try to go and explain what happened to your therapist and the feelings of abandonment that ensued. I know your therapist will understand. Ask her for ways of dealing with crises in between sessions because finances are an issue. There may be something creative that the two of you can work out.

On the rare occasion when I go against my tendency to retreat and reach out when I am in most need of help, I am always glad I did. There has always been a connection or an answer or something positive that happened that I didn't expect when I could only see the situation through my lenses of despair.

Please reconsider going your next session. The whole point of therapy is to not be alone with such deep pain. I have to remind myself of that ALL the time.

Take care.