Due to my anxiety issues I pushed him away a lot. The sad thing is that he was perfect for me. He's deployed right now and I miss him every day. When I broke up with him, he said "You know, I was really good for you." I still cringe when I think about that because he was right. I've left four messages in the past five months on his phone that he's been deployed asking for a second chance. Before he left he was willing to give me another chance but then as his deployment got closer and closer he said he was too busy and we never got to hang out. I was so oblivious to his feelings when we dated, I'm really ashamed about that.

I let my shortcomings get in the way of our relationship. I don't know if he's willing to give me another chance when he gets home but I really hope so. The crushing guilt of being a bad girlfriend to such a good guy because of my mental issues really hurts. Can't believe I was so stupid. He said something like, "I guess you're just not ready/willing to give me what I need in this relationship" after I told him I didn't want to be in a relationship.

He did everything for me and I put in 50%, if that. I'll have to live with this for the rest of my life if he comes home and finds another girlfriend. My mental issues have caused so many hiccups and bumps in my life. I feel like I'm not even able to be the person I actually am deep inside because of my anxiety and depression and all that other bull. Just wanted to vent this because its been haunting me all week. Thanks for listening.