Thank you so much Zygara for sharing this!! I have experienced this for so long but never ben able to share it so clearly and succintly as you....

' I've always developed absolute intense infatuations. It's consuming, the infatuation I have becomes the centre of my world, and all I think about. At the start, it's all joy and rainbows. Everything is great. Everything is perfect, they are perfect, they made my life perfect. They are my soulmate, they are my God. In my eyes, it's almost as if they become higher than human, compared to them I am scum. I feel so upbeat, almost have a kind of emotional high at the start of it all. Every little bit of attention or gratification I get from them makes me feel just a little bit more worthy. I want to clarify that I tend to develop infatuations with unavailable people, mainly authority figures. Most the time, the a relationship with them isn't even possible, yet I convince myself that they are my soul mate.'

I have never met anyone like this because I never want to share it for fear of being completely alienated.
I experience the depression and suicidal thoughts too if it appears I am being ignored or tha persons demenour has changed towards me...
Thank you so much for sharing.