hi all, my name is collin, and im suffering from generalized anxiety disorder which im taking meds for and going to therapy for

except, its come to a point where im just so confused as to what i really feel. my anxiety targets my dearest girlfriend, the woman i love and want to marry and stay with. it first appeared at the start of our relationship, 2 years ago. (weve known eachother for about 6 years)

i used to always laugh and smile with her and id love to talk to her every day and just be with her. now i just cant laugh or smile genuinely, it feels forced. my anxiety tells me i lost interest in her, even if nothing changed

im really scared that i wont feel guilty or sad when i hurt her. because thats when you know you dont love someone, they say

my mind tells me to break up and find someone better. but i dont want to! i just want to be happy with my girlfriend! and yet, at the same time, i want to give in to my fears. i want to break up and leave her forever, but at the same time i dont

i know that i would get up after breaking up with her but i dont want to lose her... i love her so much but im just so confused

she doesnt want to talk about it because she has chronic fatigue and cant really deal with panic attacks. it makes me feel so guilty, she worries so much for me but i seem to not care at all and i wish it was different

i just want to be happy with my girlfriend and i dont want to lose her but its so tempting to give up everything because i cant take it anymore