that was what i found when i was seeing my psychiatrist every two weeks. it wasn't 'real' therapy, but even just going that much (on top of other mental health providers at that time) was just too much to handle.

i check in every few months which is okayish and know if i went regularly again, it might disrupt the stability i have managed to have the last few years. at the same time, i do still have times where i struggle immensely with dissociating or severe depression/darkness linked to dissociation and/or emotional flashbacks/triggers and things..but it's not as bad as it used to be.

the only issue for me recently is a huge life change which has brought up a lot more issues (sometimes for just a day here and there or weeks at a time) that makes me crumble again.

i feel like i come together where i am more me but then can quickly disintegrate again where i fall apart and have the other parts blend or emerge again in random ways...but not as full on as they used to be and not near as many. it still is confusing when it happens though because i am still able to 'deny' it is even real...until it happens anyway...and then i just think i'm crazy..so to talk about when not in that state is not something i do much until recently when i signed up on here because i don't know many people who struggle with dissociation of any degree to talk about it with.