I texted him. Then I called him, we talked for 30 minutes, I was crying and explaining reasons why I'm leaving, I canceled the session.
After cancellation I texted him that I need that last session, so I came, gave him something, wanted to hug him saying goodbye but he rejected me, I wanted to die, I ran to church, then called the pastor and went to him to talk about it because it hurt so much.
After termination I started to smoke, gave up all my psych meds, started to abuse drugs, couldn;t eat, couldnt sleep, cried so hard all the time, aftr some time I emailed to him, he replied, then I emailed again after some time asking to see him again, he denied it, he said it's not possible, I called him, he said it was my decision to leave and I can't go back anymore. It was hell. After some time I called him again swearing I am changed and I will never do bad things again, I said I need his help so much, he said that we can see each other only after a month.