Mine was not as intense as what you describe, but the only thing that worked for me was talking to t about it. Over and over and over. Every time it bothered me, which was on a pretty regular basis. My t was so patient with me!! It was really hard the first time, I was sooo embarrassed, but each time it got a lil easier. I never feared that she would terminate me, I guess I just sorta trusted that she wouldn't. I wish you all the best.