Spring and summer. I don’t know why, but I really tend to dread this time of year. My major depression seems to be much worse when the weather is nice. I don't feel it as much in the fall and winter, but the most beautiful time of the year; spring and summer, I feel awful. I guess it is because I fear really going out and living because I am afraid I will see someone from my past as she goes about enjoying her life after trying to kill herself in my bed in 2012. Something that gave me absolutely no closure and haunts me every day of my existence. In the winter, when it is dark and cold, my fears and depression tend to let up a bit. I wish I could be outgoing and fearless, so that I could actually enjoy being out in the beautiful weather without fear and pain. Does anyone else feel that way when the weather is nice?

Like the song goes.. "I'm only happy when it rains"