I had a similar kind of agonizing attachment to me first T. It was a kind of suffering that I shudder to remember. We never resolved it because I was seeing her through school and she left her job and I don't think I ever would have felt safe enough to talk to her about it anyway. I actually had an alternate diary that I used to write about it because it seemed too shameful to have in my regular diary. I ripped the pages out after I'd written them and would flush or burn them.

I went on to form many similar attachments over the ensuing years though none was as intense as the first.

I think Cinnamon that the way past this attachment is through it. That is to say that you need to talk about it, you need to try to figure out what it is you need and be gentle with that part of yourself that missed out on some important thing when you first needed it.