hey love,

i totally understand how you're feeling at the moment, and i don't know if this message will be of any help to you, but i care. you deserve to live. you deserve to be here. it will get better, i promise you, just make sure you'll be here to see it all.

right now everything might seem undoable, so overwhelming, but try to reach out to people around you that care about you. your best friend maybe, or just a normal friend, one of your parents, an aunt, a nephew, anyone basically that you can trust. and just talk. talk to them. tell them what's going on. tell them how you feel. how you experience things. tell them the truth. tell them that you don't know if you still want to continue living. just let it all out. if they truly care, they will at least try to understand, but it's really important that you trust them too and that you render them capable of listening to you without judging. if there's no one like that in your life, please try to reach out for professional help.

after my previous therapist technically gave up on me i thought i could do it alone and didn't need anyone anymore.. boy was i wrong. i've never felt as bad and suicidal as i did in the past few months, and just recently i decided that i needed to find a new therapist and honestly, i only had my first 'getting-to-know-talk' with him two days ago, but it was such a relief. it felt like someone had taken away a bit of all the worries and issues that i've been struggling with since forever. and it was just one silly talk of an hour!

i really really hope you'll feel better soon, even though it's just slightly better, it's at least an improvement! you can always talk to me on here too, if you want to and if you think it might help. about anything tho. but please don't give up. you're worth it. i believe in you. and the fact that you're posting here is to me a sign that you don't want to give up yet, that there's a teeny tiny part in you that also still believes in you.

don't give up. xx