Sorry if I wasn't clear. Yeah I cant have *one* at all, not by myself, not orally, not during sex, there's nothing happen down there for me. I have mentioned this to a few people and they all said that I have to try on my own first "get to know my body", so I have, quite a few times, the problem with that is, I get bored after 40minutes and my mind starts to wander. I only have so many hours in a day and I cant spend 4 of them masturbating.

I have been with my bf for 1.5yrs... I initiated everything, the sex, the relationship to follow, the direction on what he enjoys. If he even notices that Im not having *one* after all this time he hasn't brought it up. I know what feels good orally and I could give him some direction and probably will next time but Im starting to think its hopeless. I try not to worry because that only makes it worse but of course its in the back of my mind every time we get into bed.

I really LIKE this guy and he treats me better than I have ever been treated by anyone, he puts up with my negativity and paranoia but of course we have issues, that aren't exactly easy to deal with. We have issues...opps....I mean I have issues that aren't exactly easy to deal with, with him. From my perspective we are not emotionally connected, we dont talk about personal things and its really hard for me to bring up my personal feelings although I would like to talk about them with him but he seems uninterested and uncomfortable. He told me he was autistic, he's extremely intelligent border line genius. I read somewhere that people like that aren't very good at communicating.

I got side tracked, sorry. Point incase, I would hate to make this guy jump through anymore hoops for nothing (it still might not work).

I dont know what to do but I dont want to be 40yrs old and orgasmless.....Oh Dear