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SecretGarden said:
Good luck with your meeting with your hubby.

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That went really well.

And today we had a couples session and that went well too. T said next week may be our last session with him for a while. We have done what we set out to do. We can see him later if issues arise. He is our family therapist now. I don't know whether to be happy or sad to know we are almost done with our time together in therapy. I feel something but I'm not sure what. Maybe fear, apprehension. Like this is one more thing to check off the list that has been accomplished, and one step nearer to divorce. It's scary.

We talked some in session about the issue of transparency but in an indirect way. T said his transparency is much greater than many T's use/advocate. He believes the family is the system, the family is his client. And he provides therapy to the parts of the system (the family members) to help the system as a whole. If there is a problem with a child, for example, he wants to hear from the parent about it. (This is in contrast to my daughter's therapist, who some of you may remember from a while back, would not speak to me about stressors affecting my daughter, as she felt this was a breach of confidentiality.) Anyway, today we didn't talk directly about any confidentiality issues, but it sounds like our couples therapy is wrapping up, so maybe this is not an issue much longer.

I see T on my own later this week so may still bring up this issue. I can hardly wait--I miss the guy even though I saw him today. It's not the same seeing him with my husband there. There seems less of a connection, although I do feel it in subtle ways. Like today, my husband was saying something, or maybe T was, and it prompted me to think of something else, so I was sitting there quiet, thinking of this other thing. And T turned to me, and said, "sunny?" Like he just knew something was going on and invited me to share it. It just made me feel like he was so attuned to me that he would notice this. It's not like I was jumping up and down, waving my hand, and wanting to interject something into the conversation. I was just quiet. But he knew. The degree of attunement with him is just crazy good, so easy, especially in contrast to the lack of attunement between me and my husband. Sitting in that room, the three of us, me with these two men from my life. And the one I've known and lived with for 20 years knows little about me. And this guy I've known for 8 months and that I pay a fee to each week knows me better than maybe anyone ever has. Sometimes that just boggles.