Just got back from the SA T ( <~ why this) all she wanted to do was talk about feelings.

What feelings?..... I was under the impression those that are abused don't have these alusive feelings........ I know I don't...... and I'm sure as hell not going to start having them now...... feelings....... you must be kidding........ can't we go forward and heal without getting all caught up in...... feelings....... whats with all this crying and releasing they want me to do....... not happening....... feelings....... I aint getting in touch with nothing...... yes we look back at what happened....... but why?........ do we have to attach........ feelings....... to it?......... I know I'm ranting and raving sorry....... but give me a break here........ feelings....... where talking about....... feeling........ something....... you know crying....... hurting........ getting it out there......... and all her talking about these........ feelings......... is not doing my control over these........ so called........ feelings....... any good...... why on earth does she think I take 20 different meds everyday?............ to block out.......... stop any......... feelings............. from going on...... how am I going to cope if she keeps throwing them up in my face?......... asking me how I...... feel?......... I really don't think I can do this............ carry on T........ not if she say's I have to sort through these........ feelings........ before I can move forward........ let go.

Am I angry because I am expected to feel things just about the pyhsical - sexual - mental abuse. No. Because I surpose to feel about other things in my life too. It's one thing to care for others it another thing to let them affect you. And I just can't do that again.

Blah....blah.......blah.........blah.........blah. Time I shut myself up.

Thanks for listening anyway.