I'm so sorry. It's incredibly hurtful to have a therapist bounce around like that, especially where the existing wound is so deep. I don't think it's unrealistic to expect a therapist to be careful around things like this. The problem is that she was wrong to ever make that promise to begin with. There are other ways to create a sense of safety and stability without a promise that no one can reasonably make. Mine has never made a promise, and I haven't asked for one; her steadiness has been reassurance enough.

I'd say it's an experience thing, but I've seen here on the forum where therapists with decades of experience are bungling things as badly as a new therapist. It's crazy.