i have huge huge abandonment issues...i guess...i dont know what you call it really...not diagnosed or anything...
so if its not abandonment im describing point it out...cuz i am as clueless as a cloud

i flip out if people (in general actually) dont ...i could even say it gets to the point where if they dont base their world around me i go overboard ...i know that sounds really bad but im trying to be truthful...like i get so upset and distraught and emotionally panicked (thats a good word) if my boyfriend goes to sleep without telling me and doing it before we spend a huge amount of time together ..which is ridiculous i know...i get a defensive emotion if he is even near another person in general..and its not with just my boyfriend...its hard to be a Certified nursing assistant especailly when i am working with a resident and they ask about someone else (even if its just out of curtousy, respect, or curiosity) and when someone does something like the above mentioned...it is so hard to feel the way i did before it happened....it freaks me out why i am so weird like this...i dont understand and i know im not the best explanier but...you hopefully get the idea..and i know the world doesnt revolve around me ...i just needed to rant about how exhausting these feelings can get...and the specific things i do to keep from someone leaving me or abandoning me....it gets to the point where i become such a pushover it would make anyone gag....including myself...