I went to bed praying that god take me in my sleep, Im not even religious. And then I woke up in the morning and felt even worse than the night before.

Yes I have been taking all my meds as prescribed - but I am lowering the clonazepam while adding the zyban/wellburtin, could this be why I feel so terrible? The anxiety is easy to manage its the depression I just cant bare.

I forced myself into my morning routine, I guess there will be a lot of forcing of coping skills today, Im just sick and tired of always ending up feeling bloody awful. There is no trigger in my life for this - everything in my life is going fantastic. Yet the mood is low and getting lower by the day - faster than "usual".

I feel like I cant breathe under the weight of this depression.