I just saw my meds pdoc last monday and started lowering my clonazepam last wednesday then started on the zyban on friday.

I see my t/pdoc this thursday but not meds pdoc for another few weeks. He said if I needed to contact him I could via email or through our other avenues. I dont know what he could do besides up the clonaz again which I DO NOT want to do or take me off the zyban/welburtin but it is such early days. I really hope its not the zyban dropping my mood so fast. It is an antidepressant but Im using it both to quit smoking and lift my motivation and mood. None of which it has helped with yet. But like I said, only day 4...

I forced myself to get dressed and message a few people to tell them how I am feeling today and prepare if I need someone over here quickly. Im thinking craft and watching my tv shows will help me cope but I hate being so unproductive. And it is SO hard to force myself to do things.

I feel like I am being crushed under the weight of this depression and it is so frustrating that I cant pinpoint why. Could it really be the tiny drop in clonazepam? Pdoc wasnt too keen on my dropping it and would only let me drop .5mg but my brain doesnt work on 2mg a day, I want to be off it before next semester at uni so I have half a chance.

Im kinda at the point where I am screaming WHY?? Why do I feel like this? Why cant I just "think" it away like everyone else. So frustrating.