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mrmag · May 25, 2015, 02:20 AM

I don't know what is and isn't a trigger in this so the whole thing is going to be put in a trigger box, so if you are triggered by a variety of different things don't read this.

Possible trigger:

When I was younger i was driven into a deep depression due to a variety of reasons from being shunned from society to the abuse my father put me through I was wishing i never existed and was constantly wishing that something would kill me. i left my father after putting up with the things he put me through after 4 years since it started, and things started to get better and I even stopped self harming. let's jump forward 1 and a half years to about 2 months ago. i started to get back memories of when my father abused me and the rest of my life also started falling down around me, I got blamed for stealing from my mothers debit card multiple times each time i was innocent and i asked her to check both where and the exact time the cash was taken out and she refused to do so, and i'm still in the middle of my punishment for it, multiple of my cherished possessions disappeared or broke, i'm getting shunned from society again, and the friends I still have seem to not care in the slightest. About 2 weeks ago I started self harming yet again, and almost every second of every day i'm contemplating on just giving up, and ending it. I mean all the people who I care for and those around me don't even give a dam about me anymore, so whats the point?

Thank you for reading I know it was long and sorry about that and i just don't know what to do any more I can not cope with everything by myself anymore I have never felt this empty before I don't feel angry or sad about any of this just, empty. I don't know what i was looking for by typing this out, I don't even know if i should be posting it or if anyone will care, yet I still wrought it and posted it so i guess im looking for something. again thanks for reading.