Isn't it exhausting for you all?

Perna, interesting link, I'd never heard of that before, but I don't think that's it. Granted, I might underestimate myself a lot, but I do have real issues that are a problem in my life/my job.

I took a job answering the phone. It's not the best career choice for someone with AvPD/social anxiety. I feel like a liar for even applying to this job, obviously not mentioning my SA in the job interview. I never thought I would actually get it. I spent the last months avoiding all phone calls unless I knew who it was and why they were calling. I haven't even spoken to my own grandmother in months because I didn't have the energy to pretend everything is fine. I think I do the job okay and there are times I even enjoy it, but it is so exhausting.

At other times when I'm not even trying to hide anything, I'm confused that it's not obvious, that I seem to pass as a "normal" person. Like when a co-worker was surprised to hear I'd never had a boyfriend and don't have many friends. All I could think was "Isn't it obvious that there's something wrong with me, that I am way too shy and awkard?"