I did not have it with a loved one but I lived in a haunted house for a summer and had similar experiences. Being awakened by someone yelling "wake up!!" Being poked, patted, prodded etc until I woke up and then continuing. The cold. It was terrifying. I think your T is WAY wrong. If you haven't had it happening you can't understand. I used to sneak away to our local 24 hr grocery and try to nap in the rest room!! I could not sleep there. I can't believe I lasted the whole summer. Rent was cheap though.
When staying with a friend I woke up and saw a woman cAlling his name. He slept through it but in the morning he said the woman I described sounded very much like his recently deceased grandmother.

I think it's wrong for your T to invalidate your experience.

FYI the most effective thing if it IS a spirit who cares about you ( theory being they may be confused or not clearly seeing into our world or clumsy like a 3 year old with a crayon in their new spirit body) is to wait for a time when you sense the presence and say loudly and cleaRly. " what you are doing is scaring me. Everything is ok. I am OK and you can go on with your journey. If you have a message for me please find a different way to tell it to me" or something like that. They may not know they are doing anything wrong.