I'll try to keep this as short as I can. But it is summarizing my life from when I went inactive on pc to now. Hope all you guys are doing alright and still hanging in. Hugs to you all.

My life went spinning out of control about January 2015. I mean, it was not in control or decent before but around January time I started not having a second to breath let alone think or recoup myself. What i did all this time? My business job some other stuff I needed and still need to work through and mostly dealing with my "responsibilities" to my family. Being abused and guilted by them. Being forced to be there for them at all times, sometimes 10 places at one time.
Fast forward to March time I was finally hitting a breaking point, I didn't know what I'll do but I knew I needed to take action.
End of March my family (parents) decided I needed to go to the other end of the world to help out family. I would take of 3 weeks of work and go help family since they themselves couldn't. So I obviously went, I didn't enjoy it but I think it gave me perspective.

I think I realized, I have the power to say no and to stand up to my rights regarding my family. I have the right to lead my own life. I am allowed to put them as secondary or later in my life.

I took a step, I acknowledged that things don't need to be this way. Yet now I need to change it. I need to act upon it.

However since I came to this conclusion my anxiety is terrible. I keep having attacks randomly throughout the day. I can barely think while at work. I don't eat nor sleep (but that's not knew). I can't carry a conversation and the only thing I can repeatedly do now is drink myself to oblivion.

I'm lost, what am I supposed to do? Action yes or no? Continue life like before Or? What's it worth anyway.