It is very common to feel heart broken over a relationship that you wanted to end. At one time you had hopes that became dashed. That is a big loss and it is normal to grieve. It's not good to rush into another relationship. For now, make the most of any supportive friendships that you might have. I'm sorry if you really don't have any.

Twenty years is a long time. You'll need time to adjust. Are you still friends with the woman who moved out?