Changing providers is so hard. I've gone out of my way to keep the same ones and travel quite a distance to see both but it's better than changing. I thought I was going to be changing therapists and cried about it for about a year before he changed his life plans and stayed in therapy after all. If he'd gone I would have been hospitalized, I have no doubt.

You have reasons to feel down. Keep reminding yourself of that and that this is not just your mood getting out of control on its' own, you are worried about what is happening and depression is a normal response. You can get through this, you just have to focus on what you can control and try to let go of what you can't control. Do you have a family dr you can ask for a referral from? Sometimes mine is able to get referrals to places that are "full" but he knows the dr and magically a slot appears.