Oh no, I planned to go but I told my husband this and he said, instead, why don't you just wait and we can go to a bar together. I was fine with that, I thought it was a sweet gesture since neither of us do that sort of thing. But, then, I called him (just like 15 minutes ago UGH!!!) while I was out picking up a prescription I had to have for this evening and I asked if he cared if I at least took a drive since he didn't want me going out. "You aren't even supposed to be driving at night anymore remember?" You've been doing crazy things lately, and you're out of your head," he said. Oh yeah? What crazy things? I don't do crazy things. Just because I'm not always grounded does not mean I am not a perfectly rational human being. It is very unnerving. I should have driven anyway...not come home until tomorrow. I really wish I had, but no matter how tough, or high, I'm still his little GOOD girl. And I follow the rules like I'm a child. Makes me mad!
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*****
Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
Tori Amos ~ Crucify
Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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