Hmmm I have the same issue (although marriage isn't in my book for a couple of years... err I hope not lol)

but yes I am scared of marriage because of that. I grew up surronded by toxic relationships; I was terrified.

My parents have always hated each other (at one point my mom told me love isn't a real thing and I believed it). Plus I personally know of women who had abusive relationships; it made me even more scared (my older sister was in a very abusive relationship as well). So I understand where you're coming from

As somebody already mentioned above, therapy might help you. Just letting it all out and working on it.

"How do you know if a prospective marriage partner is abusive and controlling or not?"
I think the answer to this is lots and lots of trust. Really get to know him before diving into anything