Hi BornToFly, you've clearly been through some very traumatic experiences
So it's completely understandable how things must be real tough for you right now
Bosnia........I'm assuming that was the war over there, right?? So are there any vets groups you could join where you are (if you're not already a member)?? Sometimes talking about things with people who have "been there" can help a little with working towards closure...........or as near to closure as possible.
And your ex..........do you think it might actually help to talk to her about what happened??? Or maybe if she has moved on, and seeing her moving on, might help you move on just a little too??? I don't know.........obviously you want to avoid fresh triggers..........so that's just a thought.
Otherwise maybe that closure is something you could work towards with a T??
And you know, if you need/want to talk to us..........we're here for you.

Alison