My earlier episodes (before I was diagnosed) lasted several months. I don't even remember now; but I was highly productive, very involved in several projects, extremely creative, and slept only a few hours a night without ever feeling like I missed it. I was grandiose, had racing thoughts, and was certain that God was inspiring me to lead and do great things. At the time, we thought this was just "normal" me.

After a few episodes like this (with lengthy depressive episodes in between), my episodes started occurring just about every 3 months, on the dot. I would get involved in several projects and be "high"; then all of the sudden, I would crash and not be able to do anything. I would end up in my pastor's office crying because I felt like a flake. After about 3 times of this, he advised me to tell my pdoc about these episodes.

When I did this, I was diagnosed as Bipolar (this was during a depressive episode). He started me on Abilify which switched me into a hypomanic mode. I didn't care; in fact, I welcomed it because I was back in school and needed to be able to work. I stayed up for a LONG time.

Finally the INTENSE anxiety caught up me, and I ended up in the hospital. They took away all my benzos (which I had been abusing), and it has been hell ever since. My meds have changed continually for 1-1/2 years, I have been hospitalized 9 times, and I am still struggling. I hope they can figure out something soon.

Has anyone else found this illness to be progressive--to get worse over time?