This is something I dealt with in my family growing up and was a source of my problems for many years but unfortunately the bulk of the problem lies squarely in your husband's court. It is about him negating your feelings under the pretense that you should "know better" than to interpret his actions in the way that you did or feel the way you do. As others have said it's invalidating and I understand that.

some people lack empathy, that is, the ability or in some cases the willingness to feel or understand what the other person feels in any given situation. Unfortunately this is not something you can force anyone to have or choose to cultivate in themselves. The only thing you can do is kind of passive and that is to try to show empathy for him and by example hope that he sees and learns from it, but he may not.

I think that you need to strengthen yourself and find your own individual validation without him. Although it's hard in a relationship or marriage, you can do this. Your feelings are yours and your interpretation of his actions are personal. That alone makes them valid and you need to divorce the idea that he needs to understand for them to be valid. You already know he'll probably do that, so just keep it in mind that regardless of what anyone thinks you should feel, in reality what you do feel is real and valid.