I did too last week. The only way I was able to avoid it (for the most part) was knowing how my husband would react. And knowing that I could NOT afford another hospitalization, financially and emotionally. It's very hard to chase the thoughts away. I'm sorry you're going through this. Put yourself on "home watch" like I have. That means giving sharp objects, pills, etc to someone you trust. Have someone dispense your meds if possible. Whatever you're specifically thinking of doing, take away the means of doing it. Like if I was thinking of crashing my car, I wouldn't drive. That way I can't crash it.