Yeah, I have definitely started to accept over the past several months that I may have undiagnosed bipolar disorder. Usually I go in between feeling positive and maintaining a happy outlook to being angry and agitated. on occasion I get tearful and depressed like this- it usually slowly builds up over the course of a few days (whether its agitated/manic symptoms or melencholy/dysthymia like symptoms) and then hits a peak over the course of one day and then the next day I am back to feeling 'normal' for a good week or two and then it builds up again.
Its nnoying because during the 'peak' my mind is so severely agitated or depressed that thinking clearly about why I'm feeling like this isn't always an option. It's only once my emotions start returning to normal that I realize this- but I think the more this happens the more I can get a handle on things- again- I used to self medicate for a long time- smoked weed on a nearly daily basis for about 12 years . . . I guess it takes time to recover- get used to things . . . and apparently the fact that I have bipolar disorder- which by the way I've thought I've had for several years now but could never get diagnosed. I'm tired of trying- maybe if I can find a better job with good insurance- because deal with it with a pdoc is an expensivehassle- and I usually don't think they know what they're doing- I think personally the best way to get diagnosed is to have a B.A. in psychology (like I do) so you'll be able to recognize your symptoms and have a good idea of what to diagnose yourself with and treat yourself accordingly. . .. .